R.eminiscence

3Days to N'level.
adrenaline rushing through my mind,my blood.
so scared.
so scared that i wont be able to make it.
so scared that i will be looked down upon.
cause,I am the sole breadwinner of my family.
the nerd,the smarty-pants,the loser in many ways.
yet,my life,my life of my grandparents depends on me,my results.

fight or flight?
fight i suppose.i have to give my best.
& even if my results aint good,
i will fight my way up.
humiliation & sorrow will come my way,
but everything will be over when i get my results.
i will succeed,i must pass.

I MUST PROMOTE TO SEC5.

N starts next week.
so far,
everything's screwed up.
i dont know whats happening to me.
everything's wrong.
2 worlds apart.
1heart broken.

i wanted to just let it all go.

but i cant.

its my past.

it cannot be change.

i hate you.

screw everything.

time to emo.

bye.

you know what?
i hate everything,everyone,including myself.
like dude,people dont understand basic english.
treated differently from others?
wow,SG is becoming more of a racist country eh?
wtf,like what did i do lah?
all i did is just to talk,yet from that instance,you treated me like wtf.
speechless you know,im just very speechless.
N's in a week's time.

i missed you.

i hated you for making me to

marc,i really hate you.

how more annoying can it be -
with 2siblings,half related keeps fighting & throws you tentrum but all you can do is to control. Having one of them shout like at you like there's no tomorrow,& them making sure that you look tiny in their eyes.
stopping to think if you should slap the hell outta them or not & realizing that its useless.
& everything,would somehow fall back on yourself.
THIS IS DAMN ANNOYING.
how i really wished that both of them would be in some home or just disappeared.

stress.
im fat,im retarded.
yeah,hell yeah.
life in school is gonna be over soon.
time is short,there's nothing we can do about it anyway.
Au Revoir!

i really wanted to do stuff i was banned from.

but i didnt.

should i?

smoke?cut?

i had really liked you.

but you seem to hate me.

why?

is it because im retarded?

im sorry.

just gonna emo.
hopefully this last 2weeks together with everyone else is meaningful.

you know whats the most annoying thing?
a teacher tells you you can promote,& then says you cant.
asshole.

mr foo went through prelim results.
looks like i cant promote.
CANT.
EMB2=13points.
fail 2subjects,UNGRADED.
no grade=no point.

planned out the future nicely.
even if i get like 4 A1/A2,& get 2 U grade.
no sec5 for me.

it hit me like a car,
i nearly cried.
why must moe be so unfair.
idiots.
then i realized,its only prelims.
all i can do now is to study hard for Amath for this 2weeks.
& hopefully either chinese or Amath would be kind enough to help me pass.

i really really really wanna get to sec5.
O's suddenly meant alot to me.
O god,please pray.

plan:
-after o'lvl math paper,start working.
-take a 1-week off to go shopping for prom night
-go to prom night with bff
-continue working until before christmas.
-N'lvl results released a week before christmas
-go to universal studios with bff before school reopens.
-treasure time spent with bff,wont get to see her anymore next year. :'(
-work hard for O'lvls & get into the course i want/cjc

alternatively,if i dont do well:
-get to ite,take up some science course
-work damn hard & use the DPA from nitec
-get into poly.

tough goals,tough decision.
im gonna fight!

well,today sucks as usual.
ppl keep dao me sia. :(

anyway,went to anchor point with liyun to shop for some stuff & ate this thing called, ice snow.
its like ice cream but its hard to melt. ._.
it tasted awesome!!

lalala~
nothing to update.
bye,daosters.

i know im retarded.

i know im crazy.

but at least,understand how i felt.

controlling tears from falling,

forcing a smile,trying to make others happy or smile.

i was hurt by what you said.

& for once i thought,

everyone has given up on me.

Like hello?
you wanted to eat & you dont want to pay your share of it?
go to hell.
you dont even hold like what,positions in the entire house,
& you think you're like damn big?
asshole.
i just feel like punching your bloody face.
pasta mania isnt cheap.
fuck-tard.
i really wish youre in the boys' home or so?
IT WOULD REALLY BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU.
THANKS LOADS FOR BEING A PAIN IN THE NECK.
asshole.

WOW.
went to church as usual.
sang,ate,did some amath.
SOME only.

anyway,
learned piano,corrine said i learn fast. :D
plus 1 pt.!
haha.
got hw. T.T
omg.music hw.-.-
actually,learning piano is quite easy. :D
oh well,ill stop learning guitar for the time being.

~bye~

hello!
new blog,new life.
er....a better life. :)
old blog settings has been changed similarly to this.
ha.

well..
N's is in 2weeks time.
all anyone could do now is to mug hard.
learning guitar & piano at the same time isnt easy.
i wanna watch vampire suck!
who wanna watch?!

ive lost hope in you

C.laudia♥

" She’s a lil girl,
living in her perfect world
Until the bad guy come,
and tore everything apart.."

Money cant buy everything
Not all endings are happy
everything's just like alice in her lalaland.

Claudia.
was on earth for 16 annoying years.
since 220794.
Friends take priorities.
i ♥ green & panda.

` Green Crumpler bag
` Pass chinese
` Better videoing skills
` Panda stuff toys
` A new green badminton racquet
` Have a stronger voice
` Finish learning guitar
` New handphone
~~` Promote to sec5NA/Higher Nitec~~
` Looney Tunes stuff toy

Tagboard here.

8 songs Playing ♥

Designer : Chili.
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